What often happens next is that anger leads to entrenchment and bitterness, which prevents parties seeing possible solutions.

In an ideal world they should ask themselves questions like the following:

What is the issue for us?
What is the state of the contract?
How are we following the contract conditions?
Is what we want possible?
What is the least we could accept?
What other options do we have?
What can we live with?

Failure to ask these questions and understand one's true position can be a real trap. As an arbitrator and mediator I have listened to parties and heard them fail to understand or hear the other party's concerns. In a sense being a mediator is a little like looking at people through a two-way mirror. I can see the whole dispute from both sides and yet so often the parties are missing vital parts of the argument.

It is my firm belief that parties who are dealing with a developing dispute should seek immediate advice – both legal and expert. They should ask both sets of advisers to help them work out their actual position, including strengths and weaknesses. They should ask for the best and worst scenarios and not wait for those advisers to feel compelled to give them. In particular, they should ask the expert to provide a clear balanced view so they know what their choices are. Perfection in advice may be impossible but providing a reasonable understanding to parties of the position is not. This does not eliminate advocacy. Sometimes, particular points need to be tested further. This testing process helps parties decide on the best method of dispute resolution for them and it often brings parties to the point where they can see that some form of settlement may be a very good option.

Whether you choose to litigate, arbitrate, or mediate a dispute, make sure you have sufficient information about the dispute, your options and the dispute resolution techniques available.